Attack of the Yaoi Paddle
by Kaneda-Kun
Summary: This is quite a random and fun story about the Death Note gang more info in chapter 1 A lot of the characters are out-of-character, you are fair warned.
1. Chapter 1

Hi! This is my first Death Note fanfiction, and it's completely random and odd XD

The full title of the story is: A Watari Story - Attack of the Yaoi Paddle!

It's pretty much about Watari being a pervert and chasing around the Wammy house boys with his "Yaoi Paddle" (a paddle that says yaoi) and sexually harassing them.

Don't get me wrong, I love Watari!

I just enjoy making him a pervert with a yaoi paddle and a hunger for boys to kiss.

Anyway, on with chapter 1!

* * *

L sat on the couch, sipping his tea. He watched Near as he played with his toy robot, making it fly on Matt's psp.

"Hey! Near! Don't use my psp as a hover craft for your robot!" Matt leaned over Near, his goggles pulled up.

"Stupid Near, you can't take other peoples stuff without asking!" Mello was beside Matt, glaring down at the albino boy.

Near looked up, an indifferent expression on his face, "Boo hoo." He said sarcasticly.

"Shut up, Near! You think you're so smart!" Mello grabbed Near's favorite robot, backing up, about to run.

Matt followed Mello, a smirk painted across his face.

L watched, not doing anything. He sipped his tea, interested to see what the albino would do.

Near got up slowly, twirling a piece of his white hair, "Give it back, Mello." He said calmly.

"No." Mello stuck his tongue out at Near then threw the robot at the wall, thus breaking it.

Near dropped his hand from his hair and grabbed the chocolate bar Mello was holding in his other hand, "You broke my robot, I ruin your chocolate." He grinned.

Mello growled, "Give it back, Near!" He charged at Near, pushing the albino to the ground, Matt had already left with his psp.

Near struggled to get up but Mello wouldn't let him go.

"That's it, keep that pose." Watari was behind Mello and Near with a video camera.

L's eyes widened, "It's happening...!" He said quietly and got up, stalking away quickly.

Mello looked up, a scared expression on his face. He jumped up quickly, leaving Near on the ground. "Watari! What are you-"

"No one invited me to the yaoi fest." Watari licked his lips and put down the video camera.

Near shivered as he got up, he watched Watari closely, waiting for him to do something.

"This isn't a yaoi fest Watari! I hate Near!" Mello snapped.

"Perfect...Now then, take your shirts off." He winked and put his hand behind his back.

Near shook his head, "I want to go and get someone to buy me a new robot."

"What the hell are you talking about, old man!" Mello spat at Watari.

Watari frowned, "It's too bad you said that." He pulled a yaoi paddle out from behind him.

Mello's mouth fell open in fear, Near just screamed and ran down the hall quickly.

* * *

Pretty random, eh?

Haha, I personally like the part where Matt just walks off with his psp! XD

Hope you enjoyed this chapter~!

Watari: "I may be old, but I'll kick your ass!" -- Personal quote of mine when I roleplay as him, heh.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello! Here is chapter 2 of "Attack of the Yaoi Paddle."

Each of these chapters are pretty short, but I hope they're still funny. ^^'

Please enjoy this chapter~

* * *

As Near screamed and threw himself into his bedroom, Mello pressed himself up against the wall as Watari hit his yaoi paddle against the palm of his wrinklely old hand.

"It seems that your little boyfriend left you." Watari jumped at Mello, his yaoi paddle above his head, like a sword.

Mello managed to dodge the attack and rolled over, jumping up in a matter of seconds. "Screw you Watari!" He ran down the hall.

Watari could be heard coming after Mello. "Get in here!" A voice hissed and grabbed Mello, pulling him into a room.

"Hey! Wait a second-" Mello turned around, looking at the person who had pulled him in to the small room.

It was Near.

"Near?!" Mello looked at the albino boy, an annoyed expression upon his face. "Why did you drag me in here?!" He snapped as Near started twirling a piece of his white hair.

"It's L." Near sighed and looked at the blonde haired boy, "Watari got Ryuk to capture both him and Matt for some apples. They're being held in Matsuda's room."

"M-Matt?" Mello's mouth fell open a bit. How could Matt get caught? He has a freaking gun for crying out loud! Mello thought as he unwrapped a chocolate bar that was in his back pocket. "We have to rescue them." He muttered.

"Indeed we do," Near paused, "Are you willing to work with me, though?"

"Well, if it's for my Matt, then yes." Mello sighed and bite into the milk chocolate bar.

"Alright, we need to make a plan, let's see..." Near and Mello sat down, thinking of a way to rescue Matt and L.

- - - - - - -  
_Matsuda's room._

L sat how he usually did on a chair, but tied up. "If I must be here, at least give me some candy to eat." He looked over at Light who was sitting on a couch beside Misa.

"No, you get hyper when you eat candy, L. Even if it makes you think better." Light sighed as Misa played with his hair, a stupid look on her face.

L made a disgusted face, "You are cruel, Light Yagami!" He hissed and spun the chair around, looking over at Matt who was also tied to a chair, yet he was able to play his psp...

"How can you be fine with us tied to chairs in a room with no food?!" L snapped.

Matt looked up from his psp, "Well, I know Mello will rescue me and it's not like the pretty boy and dumbass can do anything to us."

"Dumbass?!" Misa Misa pouted, her blonde haired head turning into the direction of Matt. "Pretty boy, eh?" Light pondered the thought before smirking, "Yeah, I am hot shit."

L made a whining noise, "My IQ is going down!" He span around again, looking at Light with a glare. "My suspicion of you being Kira has gone up to 30% percent."

"What! Why?!" Light shrieked, almost throwing Misa off of him.

"Because Kira is a horrible person, and what kind of person wouldn't give something this adorable candy!" L pointed to his face, which looked very chibi-like now.

"I am not Kira!" Light huffed, "Misa, go harass the redhead!" He snapped before storming off.

"Yes, Light!" Misa said happily before going over to Matt.

Matt looked up, a horrifed look on his face. "W-What are you doing?!"

"Well first let Misa Misa take your stupid game away." She smiled and grabbed Matt's psp, that made Matt shriek. "Noo!" He jerked around, trying to get out of his chair to get the psp back.

L gasped, "So cruel!" He closed his eyes, not wanting to watch.

"Misa Misa has something adorable in her closet for you to wear, Maddy." She smiled as she went over to a closet.

"It's Matt, you idiot! Don't you dare think about taking my clothes off to dress me up!" He hissed, a nervous expression on his face.

* * *

And that, is chapter 2.

I kind of have writers block for this, as this chapter was written in August, or maybe I'm just extremely lazy.

None the less, I shall try and write more of this soon~

Oh and also, yes I like to make an even bigger douche of Light because I dislike him, yep.


End file.
